Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Writing and such

I don't know if I am really a good writer or if I can write at all, but I enjoy it and I've tried my hand at a few different styles. Mostly I like to write creatively and fiction at that. On that note, I made a account last week and haven't put anything up yet because I have nothing to put up. I have never tried to write fan fiction so it is new territory for me and I'm not sure how well it will go. But for anyone interested I will post a link after I have written something and put it up. Let me know what you think of it and thank you for reading! =]

Friday, September 28, 2012

Catching up to do

There is certainly a lot of catching up for me to do. I have my room clean! And rearranged! I also cleaned my car today but that wasn't nearly has difficult as I thought it would be. The reptile collection is growing and Eric and I now have a business name (sort of, no license but a concept I suppose). We are: Lt. Dan's Creature Feature. You can find us on Facebook or shoot us an email at Finally we are getting something started that may make us so money on the side! I also applied and went into Quizno's to talk to the manager so I could have a better chance at a job. Hoping that pulls through. On the negative side, (I'm sure you all knew this was coming) I don't know what to do or how to feel about my parents right now.
My church has been putting together a new photo directory for the last week and our family appointment was on the first day and Eric's was immediately following ours. I being the insensitive genius that I am didn't think to ask if he could be part of our picture, seeing as we are getting married next year and, of course, that makes him part of the family. It got pointed out to me by Eric and I felt terrible because I didn't notice it at all and I feel like I should have noticed, said and done something about it until it was corrected. Now he will forever be emblazoned on photo paper alone, with my family all together and people will wonder if we were really together or if we were just close friends. It upsets me that in the process of this they didn't even offer to include him in the picture, let alone say "of course you're family!" to Eric. I realize it is useless for me to rant about this and not talk to them but I feel like they are trying to find any excuse they can to keep us from being together and to show everyone we know that this is in no way permanent. It is not happening. Myra is not getting married to a good Mormon boy who will always treat her right and will never hurt her in anyway and will always take care of her before himself. At least, that's what they try to put off. I don't know what is worse, my parents rejecting the idea of me getting married or Eric's parents treating me more like their own child than my parents do sometimes.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Wedding Bell Hell?

Trying to plan a wedding on virtually no budget and without much substantial help, i.e.; wedding planner, m.o.b./m.o.g., and only a maid of honor to really bounce ideas off of at the moment, is rather stressful and difficult for me. Granted, I have more than a year to pull this off, and by that time may have a job with which to contribute to the minimal budget, but still. It's hard. I don't mean to complain, I actually enjoy the process of it..what gets me is not being able to talk it over with anyone at all. 
I mean normally moms get excited for their daughters when they are getting married. They go all crazy and stuff with the planning and dress shopping, shoe shopping and what not. Not my mom. I get the feeling that she would be more enthusiastic if I said I wanted to marry a cat. Really, and actual cat, fur and all, instead of being at least happy for me that I've found someone I want to and can spend the rest of my life with. Is it too much to ask for her to be happy at least? Was it this hard for her when she got engaged and married? I mean honestly, it couldn't have been because even her grandma liked "Worm" which was my dad, Warren. She couldn't say his name correctly.
Anyway maybe I should get over myself and stop with the pity party and get to the being happy and care free? Or maybe I should wallow in my thoughts and emotions while I ponder deep things like the meaning of life, and why the sky is blue or grass is green. Perhaps I shouldn't even bother involving her, save for the fact that I love her, and I want her to be part of this happy time for me. I know growing up I've given her a lot of grief and misery in various times, formats, shapes, and colors, but we're family and family means that we'll always love and support each other right?
No matter what family is defined as anywhere, I feel like that is a true statement about what family should be like, whether or not you are related at all.
I guess what I am trying to get at is how hurt I feel that people I didn't even know until almost three years ago are more supportive of my relationship than my own family. My flesh and blood treat my engagement like a dirty family secret that shouldn't get brought up at all unless its for the bare minimum of details on the family, if it gets brought up at all. Eric's family would through a huge party for us if they had the money. I don't see how that makes any sense at all, that two families who love the separate parties involved can't even get together completely for even two hours. There is just something wrong with this. I know all weddings and marriages and mixed families don't always get along well, sometimes even at all, but shouldn't they at least try? My future mother in law is intimidated by my mom because my mom doesn't say much when she isn't comfortable/in a situation she feels in control of. My dad just doesn't want to get to know anybody at all, not even in my parents small group. He would rather stay home and play computer games or watch Netflix, which Eric pays for.
Honestly I don't know how much longer I can take living in a house with people who don't even appreciate what my fiance does. He may not do much but he does more than I do and that is a fact. He cooks and cleans when he can, and he pays for everything he uses. He sits and listens to everyone else complain about one thing or another and doesn't give input that makes anyone angry. I sit there and fume and do as I'm told because I am afraid that if I don't I will get us kicked out and without a place to stay. I am afraid to say what I think and feel, which is not like me at all. I am afraid to do those things because I don't like seeing the look on peoples faces when I talk about what they don't want to hear. What Eric did today. How crazy things got at work for him that night. What colors I should pick for the wedding. Who should be in the bridal party. What OUR plans are for school and what not. I can't say any of it because nobody wants to listen or care, or take the time to hear from me that no, I am not converting to anything at all anytime ever. But they all regal anyone who will listen about how stubborn I am and how bullheaded I can be, and how you can't make me do anything I don't want to and that if you tell me "no" I MAKE it a "yes". Can they not see the correlation between how I will and will not make my decisions and choices, and live my life? Or has age blinded them to the inferno that is my will and pride and stubbornness?

Monday, June 11, 2012

Not sure about what to do.

So for those of you who maybe haven't been keeping up with the Life & Times of Miss Myra Dawn, here are the quick facts you need to know: 1. I am still in college in SM, 2. I have been engaged since Christmas Eve of last year; 2011, 3. I am madly in love with my honey and can't imagine my life without him now. I think that pretty much covers the basics. Now for the details.
I'm not sure how many of you know this, but Eric and I have known each other since Junior High and although we did not always keep in touch throughout the years we hit it off in college and had a good friendship. Our friendship lasted about a year before we started to really get to know each other better, then we dated for a year and one month, at which point we became engaged. We've now been engaged for almost six months and we're hoping to plan the wedding for next June. The twenty-first to be exact. 
I know, I know, this is where most of you will begin to say slow down, and think a bit, hand US the reigns for a while and really try to understand what you're saying! But we are thinking about it and we understand the implications of our choices. We both know that it seems fast, and too soon, and do we really, REALLY know what we are getting ourselves into? To that I say both yes, and no. Yes we know what we are saying we want to to, and we know that it isn't easy, no matter how much you love each other or spend time together or talk or any of that. Lifetime commitment is difficult and trying and worth every tear shed, and every drop of sweat you put into it to make it work when it seems like it can't. And no we don't know what we're doing either. Who does? You can read every book in the world, but if you don't go out and find out for yourself, are you really gaining anything? If you don't risk things for knowledge or love or faith, how can you say that you have lived any kind of life at all?
I understand that we are young, have no clue about anything in the world, and will probably attempt to kill each other more than once over nothing because we were too tired, too stressed out, or not thinking clearly enough. I do that everyday at home with my family. The only difference here would be that we aren't related by blood. And really, don't you do the same thing to your friends, who are generally considered people you love and care about? I suppose that is beside the point though, because all the people that matter and want a say in it will tell me that we should wait, not to rush, we have our whole lives ahead of ourselves. I know that and Eric knows that, but sometimes life doesn't care if you are too young or too old, or have missed the only opportunity you will ever get for something, it just goes on unconcerned with what goes on in and around it because it simply is. I am envious of life and time because they have no worries or cares and there is nothing that constrians them at all.
I am sure that my parents, and grandparents, and everyone in my extended family, and people at church mean well and want the best for me but it is also my life, to do with what I will; whether that be making a career of saving animals or teaching students or running my own shop or writing novels, but I can also choose to do nothing, be nothing, and do what people who have no motivation do. I could get married or stay single, be a stay at home mom, or single mother, live off the government or become a junkie. I could travel the world and not tie down to anyone or anything, or I could become a missionary in the jungles of South America, or even become a famous artist in the music business. But I feel like I can't make any of those decisions without offending some number of people because I didn't listen or take their advice. And I don't think that I should feel that way when the people who make me feel that way are the ones I consider myself to have close relationships with. None of these people though, are outside of my family or soon to be family. Is it so wrong of me to want to make my own decisions even if they are foolish and might be wrong, or if they aren't wrong entirely, just a little bit senseless and made by a young woman still figure out her way in life? 
Maybe I am foolish and too young to be getting married next year, but it is my life and anyone that has tried to make me do anything I didn't want to knows that when I want something bad enough, or desperately enough it happens. Likewise with things I don't want to do. They just don't happen. I guess what I am trying to say is, I am trying to find the courage to tell my parents and those around me that this is what I want and they can either go along with it and support me, or gripe and complain the whole way while I drag them along the road. It's taken me a long time to get back to being that passionate and feisty young thing I used to be that could wreak havoc across an entire home in about ten minutes, but I'm coming back to it, because that is a part of me and who I am, and it will help me make the tough decisions I need to make for the next few years of my life. Hopefully I will have people who love and support me along the way because I know I will need it. Sorry to sound like a petty little girl trying to get her way, but thank you for reading and I hope you read again soon!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

On Spring Cleaning and Other Such Stuff

I realize that I haven't posted anything for two months but I don't often get an urge to tell the world about my day, because it is usually the most boring thing you will ever read. That is beside the point though. Today I am going to talk about my room. I've cleaned it and I have a new bed (yay!!) but it still is not how I would like it to be, there is a lot of clutter that I can't get rid of because I have no place to filter any of it while I arrange and rearrange everything so I can utilize what little storage space I do have. What I mean to say is, I have no where to put most of my clothes because I have no where to put my stuff; knick knacks and dolls and stuffed animals and books that don't fit in my book case...things like that. And the topper on this cake? I could put a bunch of stuff in my closet in different ways (just look up closet storage and things like that) but I would need to take my doors off. My dad doesn't want me to take them off. I don't know why, but he said it was because we have no room to put them, I know that's a lie. Besides that I don't think he really wants me to be able to do anything useful with my room. Everything I want to do with it is nothing he wants to see done to it, so because I want to do it so desperately, I am not allowed. I don't see why I can't move my furniture around and maximize my closet space so that there is more space for me to work with in my room. I would be making something that I could be proud of for organization skills, decisiveness, creativity, and just that fact that I'm not complaining about not having anywhere to put my stuff. So it would make sense and seem reasonable to let me do that rather than listening to me complain and complain and complain right? Maybe I'm the only one that sees that so I'm talking to myself here, but couldn't I be on to something?

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Nothing since January? Really?

Well that will not do. I cannot possibly have let myself go for so long without my connection to the other world that is the internet and telling absolutely everyone about all my problems. That is beside the point though, because I have some fabulously amazing news for you all.
Hopefully you all have some form of cable and are aware of what shows are on air right now and such. I have been watching NBC's The Voice for the last season and a half and have been encouraged to audition for a place in the blind auditions and I am going to do exactly that. On the 31st of March (the end of this month) Eric and I and one of his coworkers will be driving to L.A. to do the first round of auditions and I am very excited! Not only will we be doing that but in this upcoming week I will be on a local radio station for what I believe is an interview and a preview of my audition. 
How did I manage to land myself on the radio station you ask? Like this: Eric and I were driving to school this morning and I was in the passenger seat. On the radio comes this segment "Riddle Me This" and it asked what 3 in 10 people aged 25-35 have done or will do in the next year. Eric prompted me to call in and guess what it might be much to my displeasure. Despite my protesting I call in anyway and put forth the guess that they will get a tattoo. I guessed wrong but my answer segued into if I had a tattoo, what it was, and where. From that for those of you who know what my tattoo is and where you will find it amusing that I was asked if I was a musician. I am in a way but when I hear the word musician I do not assimilate it with someone who sings. I see them as a vocalist, still a musician, but not what I generally think of upon hearing the word. 
At telling the DJs that I sing they asked if I could sing them something and if I knew about The Voice and that they had some connections to one of the coaches and that they could possibly have an in for me in someway to a possible career (at least that was what I inferred from what I heard, not totally sure). Hearing that i said I would be going to L.A. at the end of the month for the first auditions and they said they would like to have me in the studio before (assuming) I become famous so they can have the "We knew here when" claim. I laughed and said of course I could come in and we set up an appointment to be on the show during the 8 o'clock hour. For those of you who would like to or can, you can listen in on 102.5 FM locally or tune in online at I'll be on the Jay & Niki show and you'll get to hear me get all flustered and sing and be myself on the radio instead of just in person or on Facebook. I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Well, well, well.

For those of you who have not heard yet, yes, I am now engaged. I had planned on blogging about this all earlier but many a circumstance happened (as it always does when I actually get time to blog about anything since cracking my screen last year) and I was taken away from the page to rant and rave and cry about quite a few things. What those are you will surely find out if you keep reading. =]
First: on my engagement and surrounding stories. It was a rather out of the blue moment for me, where I knew something was happening but I wasn't quite sure of what. The day had started in my family getting together and going down for my cousin's birthday breakfast in Santa Barbara with Eric in tow, Eric and I in my car because he had said he wanted to go on a date in town after we had finished presents at my cousin's house. We didn't go on a date in town, though we got directions to State street and upon driving through realized how daffy it would have been to try and do anything even remotely un-stressful while there. So. We drove back up to Santa Maria and drove through town and at the Main Street exit I had to blindfold myself (I know right? Honestly...) while Eric drove me around to get a "turkey" for Christmas dinner for his mom as he had said. I didn't quite believe him, but being blindfolded and not wanting to ruin the surprise I made sure I really couldn't see. I believed we had turned into the Von's parking lot and that he actually had gotten a turkey. The parking lot in question had actually been for Rose of Sharon and after leaving with said "turkey" we went to the gas station on Main and Benwiley's and then proceeded to drive through town to confuse me and onto the northbound 101 on the Donovan on ramp. I guessed it had been that one though Eric lied and said that no, we were on the 1 north and not the 101 and because I only drive the 101 anywhere ever, I wasn't sure and so believed him that it just might have been an on ramp to the 1 north. 
By now I'm guessing that 1 or 101 we are going to Shell Beach and that we will just spend the afternoon watching the tide come in and collecting anything that looks interesting and somewhat different much like we did on our anniversary at Oceano Beach while collecting sand dollars of every size and color.
Well, while we're driving he asks if Pismo Beach is before or after Shell Beach, and now I'm completely confused and thinking maybe he is taking me to the Mothership for another piercing, or to get some new jewelery. I have no idea what is going on at all. So I slowly say "Well I think Pismo is before but I'm not sure..did you look at the signs?" I don't get much of a response but I figure it was something like "Oh yeah..uh okay. Um..well okay." We keep driving and finally we park and because I have a rather visual memory I was guessing that we were at Shell Beach. Eric stops the car and gets out then opens the door beside me and helps me out. I don't want to say that I have bad hearing, because I don't, I just rely entirely too much on my sight to really use my other senses without it. If I went blind I would be utterly useless. Anyway, Eric helps me out of the car and we walk (I'm still blindfolded mind you. Have been this whole time.) to the grass near the gazebo and Eric has me take off my blind fold. I didn't realize that at some point he had gotten the rose he had bought at Rose of Sharon out of the car and slipped the ring over the leaf stem but he had..and as I take off my blindfold and blink a few times to clear my vision, he takes the rose from behind his back and gives it to me.
Now I have to tell you, I'm not always the most observant but this time, seeing as I was rather deprived of my most useful sense, I was. I don't even gibe Eric time to ask the question, I just start tearing up and I jump towards him almost sending us both off the cliff just feet behind him and I can't help myself I just keep crying hysterically. It's not the kind of crying where your sad or your angry or anything like that, it's the happy, "I can't believe this is happening to me" or the "Extreme Home Makeover built me a new house!" kind of tears. The ones that you can't help but find cute, but you still wish you could stop because tears do not compute with what guys know how to deal with well. 
So without even a chance to breath let alone process we look at each other, grinning like fools and kiss. Then Eric slips the ring off the rose and onto my ring finger..on my right hand. I only notice this after we start walking towards the steps to the beach and I go to look at it and I don't see it on the correct hand. I laugh and ask if he meant to do that and he laughs nervously and admits he was nervous and didn't even realize he had done that. While we're walking towards the beach after putting the ring on the correct hand a lady in her car yells through the window "You two look good together!". We both blush and smile and thank her and keep walking our way. All in all we had a wonderful date together and it was one of the sweetest things Eric has done for me. And I know this is awfully forgetful of me, but did I mention this was Christmas Eve day? Well it was. Yes. And we told both our families the next day, since Eric spent the day with my family and I spent the evening with his family.
If that was a little difficult to follow I am sorry, I am not very good at narrating what goes on in my life, just reporting on it I suppose. And now it is almost time for school again. The job search continues. I am in a hopeful position where I may become employed at Motel 6 as a clerk (front desk) but my chances are slowly diminishing with each passing day. :( But alas, I am sure there is something out there I can do that will pay my something for showing up on time when it is that I get scheduled to work so long as I don't miss school. I think. If not, I can still move out then claim myself on all financial aid forms and be homeless and collecting money for school..or just stay poorly equiped for it because my family (whose tax information I am REQUIRED to use... >.<) makes too much money for me to get the state waiver for tuition and too much money for federal financial aid but doesn't make enough to put me through even community college full time. Is it just me or is there something perversely wrong about that?
In other news I read and finished a really great and amazing book today that I had been wanting to read since my mom picked it up. I read Heaven is For Real and I found it to be absolutely uplifting and emotionally captivating. I read through all 27 chapters and I laughed, I cried, I thought more than I normal do when I read anything, even nonfiction. This book is by far the best thing I have read because it is so raw and real and believable. Granted I know there are some who can read scientific fact and still say it isn't true. And that is fine, I just am happy to know I am more open minded than that. Reading everything in this book is a little bit out there for some but I think it is just what others need to get a grip on what really is going on, or how their life is really going. I really don't know what else to say but that you should read it because it is amazing and wonderful and I want to buy a copy of my own to lend out to friends because it is that good. Most of you who read this know I only buy books if I intend to keep them. So let that mean something to you, that I would want this book in my collection. On my shelf with all of my fiction and my dictionaries and thesauruses. In many languages. =] Yes. If  you want any info on the book you can look here: or here: or you can Google it and look for the nearest location to purchase it at to you. =] Enjoy and happy reading until I blog again!