Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Hmmmmm And a Matter of Displacement

The last few months, I guess six I'll say-just to cover it, have left me feeling sort of displaced and confused. I feel like I've lost my sense of time and of reality even. I guess I'm just sort of freaked out at how out of touch I feel because I almost never see my mom anymore. She's always so good about it and I know its hard for her too but I wish that there was some way to make this situation easier, and less like a bunch of children trying to run a boot camp for mentally challenged people. It's so frustrating having to give up my home life because a pair of 18 year old's think it's their right to go out every night until after two, leave a messy house and a sink full of dishes along with five kids and all their friends running around like hyper chickens with their heads cut off. But if I stay home and see my family and have a normal life, my boyfriend gets treated like shit by everyone but his aunt, and all the credit for everything he's done goes to the girls who stayed out all night partying for two weeks straight. And while his older brother is in and out of the picture, he isn't there often enough to be considered a real help at all. I also feel like if I don't come help him, he'll get yelled at for trying to have a life because he isn't allowed to have one because of these just turned adults who "know everything so shut the hell up Eric". I don't know what to do and everything I think of is too complicated or just doesn't work out and I think that I'm going to drive myself crazy trying to keep Eric from getting lied about and keep these kids in line. Honestly I need some help and  long week or two without them around while Eric's at my house doing normal people stuff. ~>.<~