Tuesday, October 17, 2017

It's the most...intense time of the year.

And so begins the mad rush of frenzied shoppers eager to get spoiled children their rotten heart's desires.... I mean, October. Since when did Christmas and other wintertime holiday's begin before their actual season? I heard this morning on the news (Today Show) that the Hallmark channel will be premiering 67 days of Christmas movies. I love Christmas, and Halloween is my favorite, but I see no reason other than capitalistic gain. -Sigh- Anyway, this is the time of year where things get really complicated for me emotionally. This is always a time of upheaval, and this year is proving to be no exception.
Since I was a child at only six years old, something significant has happened during the holidays. One of my grandfather's passed on a Christmas Eve, one grandma passed on an Election day in November, my other grandma passed two days before her birthday, and last year....my mother in law passed just before Thanksgiving after her youngest son was in the hospital for an emergency appendectomy. 
And what happened over this weekend? One of the other boys is in the hospital for the same thing. I'm not saying that things will always happen during this time, and I'm not drawing parallels (yet). But that these always happen between my birthday and the end of the year has not escaped my notice either. There were years, from the time I was six until I was 21 where nothing happened more than some slight financial problems that I wasn't aware of because I was still growing and learning. I am so happy that nothing major happened during those formative years, but it didn't make losing the people I love and watching others in pain any easier.
Add to this that Eric has been going through some things at work that are unfair and are directly affecting how we get by, we are still trying. We were down to one vehicle, and at the same time, my sister in law wrecked her car (in the middle of a pile-up she had no control over) and we began to share between the three of us. Then Eric was able to pay down enough on a motorcycle he wanted and is using that to get to work, but my sister and I are still sharing. Our car was in an accident nearly 3 months, 6, sometime that I can't remember because so much has happened since then. The accident was my fault, we have a shop ready and waiting for us to pull up, but both of us need to get to different places and life doesn't work around anyone's convenient schedule.
Maybe I just felt the need to vent and complain, but I also wanted to make you all aware, in case you didn't know yet. Life isn't fair, and sometimes it really sucks. Like, a lot. But if you have the right people around you, you can get through it. Thankfully our family is there for us, and we are there for them. We have amazing friends that are there for us as well. I know I can be pessimistic and sound defeated, but I would ask that you all remember, the last seven years have been the best and most tumultuous of my life, and I haven't lived that long. Thank you all for reading and listening to my complaints and updates. Thank you for understanding.