Friday, November 25, 2011

A Whirlwind of a Time in the Middle of a Storm

Yes, yes, I know that it is quite an interesting title with an interesting story to match. The last few months have been all over the place and up and down in almost every way possible. I'm not even sure where to start but I've got plenty to write down.
Whew. So Eric finally moved out of Crystal's house and is back home as well as myself. This didn't happen under the best circumstances and in someways that is better than if it had been under the best of the best circumstances. Although everyone's views differ in some way or another it doesn't mean that there is no way to coexist peacefully or at least without major events that lead to contrition. Mine and Eric's belief is that Crystal and her family don't exactly believe that is worthwhile even though it is what they continually preach to the people they surround themselves with. They are not bad people, or inherently evil in anyway, far from it, but they themselves do not accept every possible alternative because they have become comfortable in the way that they live and are content in how they live because they are unchallenged and in some ways, stagnant; as I know I myself can be and am also stagnant. 
I say stagnant because I find no better word for it. They do not have people in their lives that are of a differing opinion to the frequency, at least that I have seen, that would challenge and initiate growth of the person that some people I know do. This doesn't mean that they are wrong, just that they are less willing to acknowledge differing views and opinions than those people who are continually flitting about people with different political, social, religious, and economic views than themselves. I know this really sounds like I'm going off, and maybe I am, but I feel like saying this because if you are truly accepting of the people who walk into your life you will try your best to understand their problems and shortcomings rather than try to rectify their specific issues that displease or upset you. 
Crystal and her mother didn't exactly give this courtesy to Eric for things he could not change about himself, having had some of these issues since birth, and I know Eric feels that they could have handled themselves better, but he also conceded to me that he could have dealt better with all situations that had occurred had they not been so pressing emotionally. Also while finishing moving out he was being harried for rent because he had promised it at one point in time that he did not realize he would not be able to accomplish due to circumstances with work. It was offensive to him and his mother, as well as me, to be sworn at on the phone because of things he couldn't control while he was still trying his hardest to fulfill his duties, despite his mother's differing opinion that he should take his things and leave without paying his last months rent. He did not pay full rent but paid more than half because he was so upset over the things that had occurred during that process and because the amount of food he was allotted was considerably less than the money he was putting for for it tied in with his rent. This upset Crystal and her mother, but nonetheless it is what happened and cannot be changed. 
Upon Eric's decision to move out and back home he asked me if I had wanted to salvage a relationship with Crystal and her mother, and I had said I did. Now I cannot in good faith say that, because as much as they supported Eric by giving him somewhere to live, they didn't understand his reasons for leaving either his home in the first place, and his leaving them at this point in time.  Crystal has been my friend since high school and I don't want to lose her in this manner, but I know that we are all different people and the people in our lives do not always stay forever, there a seasons for the Earth, and there a seasons for people too. Perhaps our season is ending, even as Eric's season in my life is just beginning, but I don't want to look on this time in my life as wasted, or a sour note in a beautiful symphony of life. I want to remember this as a sharp note that gives me something to think on from time to time, something to learn from and grow better I hope, instead of remain in my current state of mind from which I can not gain much more.
I do not mean to say that I do not want to be friends with her anymore, just that there are things that we both need to change about ourselves on our own time and in our own ways, without influencing or trying to dictate how the other should go. That is a difficult thing to do, much less to hear, read, or say to or from another person but it is, I believe, what needs to happen if things are to remain good between us. Aside from this I am listening to Eric, my father and my mother all talking about church and religion and politics and it has definitely made it difficult to concentrate on this. But it is also enlightening and makes me feel more at home than I have felt in quite awhile. 
For most of you who read my blog, you know that my boyfriend, Eric, is Mormon and that I myself am Presbyterian. This is a point of contention between our families and there is no easy way to go about anything to deal with this between Eric and my family, or vice versa. I know this puts me in a rather precarious position of my life considering where I am and what my own plans for my future are, as well as Eric's for his future, and how our parents feel or wish our futures, combined or otherwise, should go. So, as a person of faith and someone who generally is inquisitive, if you would, or feel compelled to, please give me your opinion on anything mentioned in this blog, or any others. Any/everybody is welcome to give input but please keep it relevant to this or my other blogs. Your words are much appreciated and thank you for bearing with me through my harebrained and difficult to understand posts. Hope to hear from some of you, and I will post again soon hopefully! Happy reading!

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